Borderline Personality Disorder

Cluster B

(BPD) is a condition that impacts the way a person thinks and feels about themselves and others characterized by a fear of abandonment, by inappropriate anger and difficulty regulating emotions. People with this disorder feel emotions much more intensely than the average person and for an extended period of time. This makes it harder for them to return to a stable baseline after experiencing the event that first triggered their emotions. This results in a pattern of unstable relationships and a lack of close friends. This disorder is often caused by traumatic childhood events, neglect by parents, emotional, physical or sexual abuse or dysfunctional family relationships. The main signs and symptoms include:

· An intense fear of abandonment and avoidance of real or imagined separation or rejection

· A pattern of intense and unstable relationships

· Rapid changes in self-identity, self-image and values

· Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality

· Impulsive and risky behavior along with self-sabotage

· Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury

· Wide mood swings which can include intense happiness, irritability, anxiety or shame

· Chronic feelings of emptiness and abandonment

· Inappropriate, intense anger, bitterness and fighting

THE FOUR TYPES OF BPD

There are four types of BPD. A person can be diagnosed with more than one type at the same time or at different times. The four types of BPD include impulsive, discouraged, self-destructive, and petulant. Each highlights a different aspect of BPD.

Discouraged Borderline Personality Disorder

This is also known as quiet borderline personality disorder. When a person suffers from discouraged borderline, much of how they think, feel, and behave is driven by the dependent aspects of their personality disorder. They tend to direct their emotions inward more, making them often seem outwardly depressed or serious compared to other BPD subtypes.

People suffering from discouraged BPD often exhibit noticeable clinginess towards others which is driven by fears of abandonment. This, in turn can stimulate extreme actions to prevent the real or perceived abandonment they constantly feel. They will often appear indecisive or weak-willed which is contrasted by the internal turmoil they feel about their lack of leadership and bitterness towards those around them.

This type of person often has an unstable or poor self-image of themselves making them extremely sensitive to perceived criticism or rejection. They often have a poor ability to empathize with, or understand the position of others. They also tend to cause or experience intimacy issues that are marked by moments of incredibly intense and passionate episodes followed by withdrawal, indifference and lack of interest.

People with this type of BPD may appear to:

· Be perfectionists and/or extremely successful

· Be high functioning

· Feel dejected or alienated and detached in groups

· Feel like they don’t have real, strong, or reliable bonds with others

· Seek approval but also self-isolate

· Feel lonely and empty a lot of the time

Signs specific to the discouraged borderline may include:

· Excessive or unreasonable loyalty

· Easily swayed by others

· Submissive and passive even when desiring a leading role

· Constant feelings of insecurity, vulnerability, weakness

· Excessive dependence upon others (clinginess and neediness)

· Constant feelings of being in jeopardy

· Feeling hopeless, helpless, powerless, and depressed

· Codependency – enables another person’s self-destructive tendencies

· Tearful episodes

· Chronic feelings of emptiness

· Self-persecution and self-victimization; believing others are constantly attacking or ill-meaning

· Destruction or intentional loss, giving away or selling of belongings

· Reliance on fantasy as a means to escape (books, media, movies etc.)

· Chronic or recurring illness complaints

· Excessive self-criticism

· Self-deprivation rooted in feelings of worthlessness

· Instability in goals, values, career plans, or general aspirations.

· Anger and excessive mood swings if abandonment issues are triggered

· Substance abuse

· Suicidal threats or behavior

Impulsive Borderline Personality Disorder

This particular subtype of BPD is the most charismatic of the four types. Impulsivity is the hallmark symptom of this type of borderline personality disorder and a person with this type of can often act in dangerous ways. The impulsive actions happen without any regard for others or thought given to potential consequences.

People suffering from impulsive BPD often engage in bingeing behaviors that include excessive eating, spending money or having sex. They often also engage in risky behaviors such as unprotected sex, driving under the influence, drinking alcohol to excess, doing illicit drugs, and gambling.

This type of person will often come off as having an aggressive, confrontational personality that is marked by excessive outbursts, physical fights, breaking or hitting things, yelling fits and doing whatever they feel necessary to get their way. This type of subtype often has much in common with histrionic personality disorder.

People with this type of BPD may appear:

· Charismatic

· Energetic

· Elusive or detached

· Flirtatious

· Engaging or motivating

Signs specific to the impulsive borderline may include:

· Being flirtatious with others, often without even realizing it

· Captivating mannerisms, acting with a natural magnetism

· Elusive and mercurial

· An ability to entertain others on a superficial or surface level

· Avoiding meaningful interactions or relationships

· Fluctuating high levels of energy and boredom

· Thrill-seeking and risk-taking behaviors without regard for consequences

· Attention-seeking behaviors

· Charismatic and charming

· Highly dramatic with a tendency to overexaggerate everything

· Highly manipulative of others

· Constantly positioning themselves to be the center of attention

· Complaints of chronic or recurring illness

Petulant Borderline Personality Disorder

People with this type of BPD swing somewhat unpredictably from anger or rage to sadness or sulkiness. They can often appear quite moody, fluctuating between severe mood swings that range from deep depression and internalization, to excessive outbursts of anger.

A person suffering from this type of BPD often has few, if any healthy or long-term relationships. In fact, their constant mood swings make having a healthy relationship with others next to impossible. This is partly due to their inability to calm themselves down when their emotions feel out of control.

Feelings of unworthiness and not being loved create relationship challenges and an unhealthy desire for control. This type of person is often highly manipulative to get what they want and are constantly dissatisfied with their relationships. They often engage in substance abuse and other damaging behaviors.

People with this type of BPD may appear:

· To be irritable and impatient

· Stubborn and defiant

· Passive-aggressive tendencies

· To have severe mood swings

Signs specific to the petulant borderline may include:

· An inability to express their feelings

· Excessive outbursts of anger

· Feelings of being unworthy and unloved

· Socially anxious

· Extreme fear of abandonment

· A need to control others

· Experiencing dissatisfaction in relationships

· Substance abuse or eating disorders

· Suspicion of others and paranoia in relationships

· Self-harming tendencies

· Intense mood swings

· Setting ultimatums in relationships

· Trying to prove that someone doesn’t love them

· A constant search for validation

· Making others to feel guilty for their actions/inactions

· Shutting people out of their lives

· Using suicidal or self-injurious behaviors to control others

Self-Destructive Borderline Personality Disorder

This type of BPD characterizes someone who struggles intensely with self-hatred and bitterness. They may or may not be aware of what’s happening. They may grow up hating themselves so deeply that they rarely or cannot believe anyone can feel differently about them. They often believe form their deepest core that they do not deserve to be loved.

People with this type of BPD often have deep-rooted feelings of low self-worth and self-destructive traits. They tend to be self-loathing, often involved in risky behavior, and are usually introverted. These individuals cast an unusual pattern of conforming to other people’s beliefs and expectations, and then acting out in anger.

This type of person will often exhibit anger and frustration that not only is directed at others but also towards the individuals themselves. They are known to share characteristics of other depression disorders. They often exhibit self-destructive traits and tend to have an increased rate of suicide.

People with this type of BPD may appear:

· To be their own worst enemies.

· Prone to all types of dangerous behavior

· To lack a stable sense of self

· To have a tendency to sabotage themselves

· Very dependent on others

Signs specific to the self-destructive borderline may include:

· Frequent moodiness, bitterness and anger

· Intense feelings of self-loathing

· Unconscious and/or unacknowledged desires

· Depression

· Substance abuse

· Risky adrenaline-seeking activities,

· Self-harm behaviors, including cutting, burning, scratching, or hitting

· Threats of suicide

· Looking for comfort through attention from others

· Engage in reckless behaviors

· Lack of self-care

· Feelings of being undeserving

· Lack of identity

· Belief that no one cares about them

· Unstable emotions